"it" just moved
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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