The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
