took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
