Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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