Say something about gay babies.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
