i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
