my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
