I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize