in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
