I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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