I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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