Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
