id be glad to
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
