a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
