Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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