Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
