Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
