my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How naked do you want me to be?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
