So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
