Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you traded sex for a burrito?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
