I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
