There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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