So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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