so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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