I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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