guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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