nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
