I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize