Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize