i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
