these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
