Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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