those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you inspire me to be a worse person
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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