I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
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Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
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I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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