My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
tell me about the fingering
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