Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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