Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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