porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
