I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
