if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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