I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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