i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
