Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dicks are not precious.
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