my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
