dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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