You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
