i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
