Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
