i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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