And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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