I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
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So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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