when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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