She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
