Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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