I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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