i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Randomize
