And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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