Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
